When to be selfish?

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Have you heard sayings like: "Take care of yourself first or you won't have anything left to give to others. Or, "We can't give what we don't have." So, is it that? Is it selfish? And should we be selfish? Why do we feel guilty doing it? Let's learn more about this in the article below.

1. Taking care of yourself is not selfish

Taking care of yourself seems to be a trending topic. Wear a mask to feel better, take a hot bath to relieve stress, meditate to attain enlightenment. Those examples may sound silly, but some recent articles have talked about taking care of yourself as the ultimate secret of life.
Taking care of yourself is important but it is not the answer to all of our problems. Self-care is certainly a powerful tool throughout life, but there are other factors that need to be included in order to live well. Self-care, combined with a stable job and/or good educational environment, a happy/healthy living space, etc. are some of the factors that can help you improve your quality of life. .

1.1. What is self-care?

So what is the definition of “take care of yourself”? According to the Oxford Dictionary, self-care is "taking action to preserve or improve one's own health". The word “practice” is the key, self-care is a lifelong exercise that is put in place for it to really work. You can't just go to the gym once and treat it as self-care. Establishing healthy eating habits about what to do each day, turning it into a daily "exercise" is the right thing to do.

1.2. How to practice self-care

Let's talk about some easy ways to start practicing self-care:
Get enough sleep! You need at least 7 hours of sleep a night, but doctors recommend 7 to 9 hours of sleep each night. Maintain a healthy diet, cut back on sugar and carbs, and add plenty of fruits and vegetables to your daily meals. Drink lots of water (3.7 liters per day to be exact). Water is not only important to ensure the amount of water in the body but also very good for your digestive system, skin and hair. Avoiding stressors, like putting down your phone, closing your laptop, or turning off the TV; Stay away from social media for a while. If a person, place, or activity raises your stress level, pause. Do exercise. You don't have to run a marathon or step into the boxing ring. Simple stretches, yoga, walking or cycling also work. Develop your hobbies. Pick up your paintbrush and start drawing, journaling, taking photos, basically doing something creative to your liking. If the creative arts really aren't your thing, start a sport. Participate in any sport you want, maybe with close friends. Playing sports will greatly improve your mental and physical health. Allow yourself to relax. Everyone has a lot on their to-do list, but sometimes it's a good idea to allow yourself to binge-watch a Netflix screen or play a video game you enjoy so you can keep your cool. Clear your mind after stressful working hours. Please maintain hygiene. When your body is clean and well taken care of, you will immediately feel better. Wash your face before bed, brush your teeth morning and night, take a hot or cold shower (depending on the time), apply lotion, brush your hair, and keep your fingernails clean. Participate in social activities. Sometimes, you just need an evening out with friends, or a coffee date with yourself to recharge. Reward yourself. If you can, buy that cute ring you've always wanted, go to some concert on a Thursday night, eat a cake. Whatever it is, you should treat yourself well at all times.

1.3. Self-care can reduce your medical needs

Self-care can also reduce the number of clinic visits you may have to make. In an article from sciencedirect.com, researchers show that patients can prevent their own illnesses and may even skip doctor visits if they practice proper self-care. . Sciencedirect.com pulls from an academic study, stating, "In 2002, a study showed that self-care can reduce the use of health services and increase patient satisfaction. "
If individuals use the right resources to figure out what self-care is best for them, they can make fewer trips to the clinic and improve their daily well-being.

1.4. Taking care of yourself is paramount

Obviously, taking care of yourself is really important. You maintain a healthy relationship with yourself, you realize your self-worth, and manage stress well. This will involve physical health, making you healthier and helping you become more productive in your daily life. When you give yourself the gift of self-care, you have more to give to others.
Continue to build your self-care habits. It's not always easy to break old habits, just to "plunge" into something new. Build your routine gradually and every day, it will make the work process less stressful. Experiment with multiple ways to decide which self-care method works best for you. Once you've identified the steps you want to take to become better, start practicing them. You'll soon start to notice that you're living a happier, healthier lifestyle. So practice and practice that self-care habit regularly.

2. 5 important differences between self-care and selfishness

While we still know that depleted humans cannot take care of themselves or others properly, many people find themselves in that predicament still struggling to put their own needs first . Even when we have given all we have to others, the question "is taking care of yourself selfish?" Still creeping into our minds, practicing self-care is unacceptable because it sends a message to others that your health is your ONLY priority.
The distinction between selfishness and self-care is extremely important and people should not feel guilty about it. As humans, we only have a finite amount of resources to operate, so taking care of ourselves isn't really a matter of selfishness. In fact, making sure our own needs are met makes us better equipped to support others.
Next time you begin your self-care with, “I don't want to be selfish, but...” remember, there is a stark difference between taking care of yourself and taking care of others. other to make yourself feel better. If you still feel bad about it (as so many of us do), take a few minutes to remind yourself of the following.

2.1. Self-care has far-reaching benefits for you and those around you

Some people may not see it this way but those who know how important it is to take care of themselves will understand. When you take time to rest and do things that restore your energy, you'll be so much healthier in every way, which can have a positive effect on everything in your life, from the relationship to job performance and negative habits.

2.2. Taking care of yourself does not mean harming others

Selfish means you desire to take something from others, harm them to serve yourself. Whereas self-care is about replenishing your own resources without depleting others' resources. Let's make a clear distinction between these two.

2.3. When you are selfish, your “me” comes first, but when you take care of yourself, it is not

Having a “me first, everything is just for me” attitude stems from focusing only on one's own wants and needs with complete disregard for others. Self-care, on the other hand, involves setting boundaries so that you don't spend all of your personal energy taking care of everyone but yourself.
As a result, you have more to offer yourself and the people, projects and work you care about.

2.4. Taking care of yourself brings out the best in you

Have you ever accepted an invitation to an event that you didn't want to attend just to show honor and be annoyed afterward, or not turn down a job you didn't want/can't do , then again too tired to complete it?
Let's put our needs and priorities first as it not only benefits us but also allows us to give our best in life. Doing things that you really want to do not only help promote your strengths, but also help not affect those around you.

2.5. Selfishness is wanting to exclude others, not taking care of yourself

Selfish people always want to put themselves first and ignore those around them. That the people around are only to serve their own interests. Taking care of yourself is not like that. Taking good care of yourself doesn't mean eliminating others, it's like an important source of nutrients like water and food. Our survival depends on it.

3. When to be selfish?

Why do we still feel that taking care of ourselves is selfish? Maybe you just called to cancel a dinner reservation, turn down your ex's invitation that you're coming, or even say no to everything. These things can make you feel a little selfish or guilty.
It doesn't matter whether you are mentally and physically exhausted or your mental health is being affected. You might lie awake in bed, thinking about what you should have done differently. Saying no feels like a failure, like you're incompetent or incompetent to handle everyday life.
However, if it helps you to prioritize your own physical and mental health, are you really being selfish? Think carefully about this.
Redefining the true meaning of selfishness When the word “selfish” comes to mind, it often conjures up negative connotations at first. We think we're self-centered, we're self-serving, we're self-involved. And we must avoid thinking only of “me and my interests”. Instead, try to live for the benefit of all mankind, because giving is taught as the way to be able to receive?
Although “selfish” is defined as caring only for your own personal pleasure and benefit, as well as a lack of concern for others, we often think of selfishness as those times when we only put ourselves body above all else.
But sometimes, the problem cannot be seen clearly. Example: We are told that we need to adjust our own oxygen masks before helping others in an airplane emergency. Or to make sure the scene is safe for you before helping anyone who is injured. No one calls us selfish for following those instructions.
Like all things, there is a spectrum in this regard. Sometimes, the right thing is seen as "selfish". And just because someone identifies something you did as selfish (like opting out of their party), doesn't mean you have to go by that definition.
Sometimes, being “selfish” is not a bad thing. There are times when being selfish is the right thing to do for your health and happiness as well as those around you. These are also times when self-care is essential.
In short, selfishness and self-care are two completely different terms. Never think of yourself as selfish just because you want to take good care of yourself. Sometimes, being "selfish" (in certain cases) is the right thing to do and a way to ensure the safety of yourself and those around you. So remember, you need to think twice before calling yourself or someone else selfish.
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Reference articles: healthline.com, hellogiggles.com, claritychi.com