This is an automatically translated article.
Have you ever been in a one-sided love with someone they didn't even know? Or lingering feelings for an ex after a breakup? Or maybe you had a deep unrequited love for a close friend but kept your feelings a secret. These experiences are generally one-sided love between people who are not meant for each other. If your feelings aren't too deep, you probably won't feel too hurt for them. But the pain of unrequited love can last long when you truly love someone. So how to overcome unrequited love?
1. What are the different types of unrequited love?
At some point in your life, you may have had a romantic unrequited love with someone. Unfortunately, this is a fairly common experience. But that's not the only way to define unrequited love.
One-sided love can appear in many different ways, some of which are common such as:
Desire for someone who doesn't know their existence Towards someone who doesn't feel the same way You have feelings for people who are engaged in other relationships Long-lasting feelings for your ex after a breakup Unrequited love can also happen in casual dates if your feelings become stronger. should be serious but the other person's attention is not for you.
2. How to overcome unrequited love?
Unrequited love makes us heartbroken when feelings are not reciprocated. In fact, a small study from 2011 found that rejection activates the same areas of the brain as a physical pain. The tips below can help you deal with feelings of distress until it subsides.
Straight talk about it... Having a frank conversation with someone you like about your feelings is often the best way to deal with a situation, even though it can sound a little intimidating. If you sense some cues that confuse you, such as flirting or cuddling, from someone you care about, it can be helpful to talk to them about those things. It's not always easy to interpret someone's behavior, so you may not know exactly what they're thinking unless they tell you directly.
If that's not possible, you can also talk to a trusted friend about what you're going through. Sometimes, just removing these sensations from your chest can give you some relief.
Don't linger too long You confess to someone, but they reject you. You are hurt, but you want to remain friends. The best way to do this is to focus on your friendships. If they've made it clear that they're not interested in any romantic relationship, just ignore it. Continuing to pursue them or hoping for a change of heart will only frustrate them, ruin friendships, and cause you more pain.
But don't force your friendship back to how it was right away. It's completely normal that we need space and time to heal things.
Cách vượt qua tình yêu đơn phương là đừng nán lại quá lâu
Feel your emotions... Unrequited love often includes a lot of emotions, not all of them negative. You can feel excited when you see the person you love, and deeply sad to realize that you will never have anything more than friendship with them. Try the practice of mindfully accepting all of these feelings. Accept them as they appear without any judgment. Just notice them and let them pass. Journaling when you're not feeling well can also be helpful.
Distract yourself All your emotions are valid, and recognizing and accepting them can help you to overcome them easily. But try to maintain a balance, as spending too much time can make you more miserable. During the day, you should put your emotions aside until you have time and space to deal with them.
Finding meaning from experiences A one-sided love is not something so tragic, what matters is how we respond to the current situation.
You've fallen in love with someone and want to be reciprocated. You may not get the results you want, but that doesn't mean your love is meaningless. What have you learned about yourself? Grow in some way? Develop stronger friendships with that person?
Ask yourself what do you really want? Emotions are the means by which you communicate with yourself. When you notice the truth in your experience, your emotions can help steer you in the right direction.
For example, maybe your experience has taught you more about the type of person you are attracted to. If you continue to experience unrequited love, you might consider whether this pattern says something about your needs. Loving people who don't reciprocate your feelings can suggest you feel like you should love someone else making you actually happier.
3. When to seek help
Dealing with unrequited love is a perfectly valid reason to seek the help of a psychotherapist. Psychological treatments can be especially helpful if:
You can't stop pursuing the other person after they say they don't care about your feelings. You spend so much time thinking about the other person that it interferes with your daily life. Friends and loved ones express concern about your behavior. If you're feeling depressed, hopeless, or thinking about suicide, it's best to talk to a psychologist as soon as possible. You should also seek professional help if your emotions lead to strange behaviors, such as stalking the person, waiting around their home or work, or other actions that seem like stalking.
Being attracted to one-sided love can also indicate that you are dealing with a negative emotional balance or an unhealed past. Therapy can help you with this problem.
Bạn có thể tìm sự giúp đỡ từ nhà trị liệu tâm lý để đối phó với tình yêu đơn phương
4. What if you are a one-way lover?
Rejecting someone who is kind to you is not always easy. You might even consider trying to date them to get to know them and their feelings better. But if you are sure that there is not any interest like love, this can complicate things for both of you. Here are some tips for handling this situation flexibly
Avoidance often doesn't help You may want to avoid seeing each other until their feelings fade, but this can hurt both two, especially if you're good friends. Instead, try having a frank conversation with each other. This can be a little uncomfortable, but such a meeting helps both of you get through it.
Be mindful of how you show your disinterest. Honest, but kind. Mention the things you appreciate about them before explaining why you don't consider the two of you a couple.
Empathy and compassion Chances are, you've had feelings for someone that they didn't reciprocate in the past. Think back to how this makes you feel. What helped you at that time? Even if you haven't experienced unrequited love, showing kindness until the feelings of rejection go away can help the other person feel comfortable in your existing friendship.
Make your objection clear It is important to clearly state that you are not interested. You may not want to hurt their feelings by being blunt, but vague or vague rejections can encourage them to keep trying.
In short, unrequited love can be a difficult thing for everyone, but things will get better with time. If you're having a hard time, psychotherapy is a safe bet to deal with your feelings.
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