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Letting go of the past is a challenge for everyone. In some cases, past events that make you feel so hard can let go in your present life. However, some long-term past situations can affect your physical and mental well-being. Letting go of the past will help you forget the hurt caused in the past and make you feel more comfortable in the present life.
1. Why is it difficult to let go of the past?
Life experiences affect people in different ways. Some people find it easier to resume work and daily life after a difficult experience, while others find that these experiences have a lasting impact on their mental health. .
Performers who struggle to ignore specific past events may have experienced trauma. Trauma is a type of psychological wound that can result from any traumatic experience, such as loss, danger, or deep shame.
Often, people associate trauma with participation in a violent event, such as war. However, past activities can affect everyone without exception. The suffering caused by past events can also change the way people think.
Some people have trouble thinking about past problems or tend to overthink the same things.
However, rethinking can make problem-solving more difficult, thereby preventing people from moving forward. This is also a common feature of depression, obsessive-compulsive disorder, generalized anxiety disorder, and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). People may also cling to the past for other reasons. For example, they may long for positive experiences that are now gone or indulge in past events because of an unconscious desire to avoid being hurt now or in the future.
2. 12 ways to let go of the past
2.1. Create a positive mantra to combat painful thoughts How to let go of the past? The way you talk to yourself can keep you moving forward or stuck. Often, having a mantra you say to yourself during times of emotional pain can help you reframe your thinking.
For example, clinical psychologist Carla Manly suggests that instead of being stuck on a problem, you could say “I can't believe it happened to me!” but you can try a positive mantra such as, "I'm so lucky to be able to find a new path in life - a path that works for me."
2.2. Physical Distance It's not uncommon to hear someone say that you should distance yourself or that there may be a situation that upsets you. That's not a bad practice, says clinical psychologist Dr. Ramani Durvasula. When creating physical or psychological distance between us and other people or circumstances can help us let go of unpleasant past problems for the simple reason that we don't have to think about it, deal with it. it or be reminded of it.
Tạo khoảng cách vật lý giúp bạn có thể buông bỏ quá khứ
2.3. Do your own thing Focusing on yourself is important when you want to let go of bad things from the past. You have to make choices to deal with the trauma you've been through. When you think of someone who has caused you pain, bring yourself back to the present. Then focus on something that you feel gives you the best comfort
2.4. The more you can focus on the present moment, the less your past or future will affect your life and work, says Lisa Olivera, a marriage and family therapist. own work.
When you start practicing mindfulness, your pain will control you less, and you have more freedom to choose how we want to react to our lives.
2.5. Be gentle with yourself How to let go of the past? If your first reaction to past activities and distressing circumstances is nothing more than self-criticism, it's time to show yourself some kindness and compassion. myself.
Olivera says this is like being kind to ourselves the same way we treat a friend, providing ourselves with compassion and avoiding comparisons between our journeys and those of others. other.
Hurt is inevitable, and you may not be able to avoid pain; However, you can choose to be kind and nice when it happens.
2.6. Allow negative emotions to flow If you're afraid to feel negative emotions are keeping you away from them, don't worry. Instead of feeling these negative emotions, people simply trying to avoid them can disrupt the letting go. These negative emotions are like riptides and you let them out on their own... That may require mental health intervention.
2.7. Accept that the other person may not be apologetic Waiting for an apology from the person or partner who has hurt you will slow down the letting go. If you are going through trauma and pain, it is important that you care for your own healing. Then you have to accept that the person who hurt you will not apologize.
2.8. Engage in self-care When you're hurt, we often feel like there's nothing but hurt. Psychologists say that practicing self-care can be like setting boundaries, saying no, doing things that bring you joy and comfort, and that you should listen to your own needs. body first.
The better you can implement self-care into your daily life, the more empowered you will be.
Buông bỏ quá khứ với việc tập trung vào chăm sóc bản thân hơn
2.9. Connect with Friends A simple yet powerful tip that can help you overcome many hurts as you make connections with the people around you. You can't live alone, and you can't expect yourself to go through the pain alone. So giving yourself permission to lean on your loved ones and their support is a great way not only to limit isolation but also to remind you of the good things in your own life. friend.
2.10. Allow yourself to talk about things from the past When you are dealing with painful feelings or a situation that could hurt you, it is important that you allow yourself to talk about these things. . Psychiatrists say that sometimes people can't let go of the past because they feel they're not allowed to talk about it.
But being able to say these things is what matters. That's why experts recommend finding a friend or therapist who is patient and accepting and willing to be your companion.
2.11. Be open to and allow yourself to forgive Since waiting for the other person to apologize can stall the process of letting go, you may have to work hard to forgive yourself. Forgiveness is important to the healing process because it allows you to let go of anger, guilt, shame, sadness, or any other feelings you may be experiencing and move on. now and future.
2.12. Seek professional help If you are struggling to let go of a painful experience, there are many benefits to talking with a psychologist. Sometimes it's difficult to do these tips on your own, and you need an experienced professional to help guide you through the process.
Letting go of the past or letting go of past hurts, you need to make a conscious decision to take control of the situation. However, this can take time and practice. Furthermore, you should be kind to yourself as you refocus on how you see the situation and celebrate the small victories you have.
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