How does parental conflict negatively affect children?

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In married life, sometimes conflicts between parents are very common. However, regularly allowing children to witness conflicts between parents can have serious consequences for children's mental and physical health.

1. Why is parental conflict such a big deal?

Sometimes, parental conflict or discord is an inevitable part of the married life of many families. Even many couples argue to the point of irreparability and fall into a dead end situation with no way out, only to be forced to sign the divorce papers.
When parents are in conflict, it can be easy to unconsciously unleash anger on the partner or even the children. This can have a negative impact on the psyche of the child. According to research, young children are very sensitive to conflict issues occurring in the family, especially when parents are negative and often quarrel with each other.
Even minors under the age of 19 can be affected by conflicts between parents in their married life. This proves that, at all ages, from infancy to adulthood, those who are most vulnerable to toxic or negative parents.
According to experts, frequent parental conflict can cause serious impacts on children's psyche due to the following reasons:
The relationship between children and parents is greatly affected: A lot When parents have a quarrel or a cold war, they often don't pay much attention or spend as much time with their children as before. On the other hand, parents' love for their children is also less or less warm because they are busy being annoyed and angry with the other person. Creating a feeling of anxiety and insecurity for children: Parents conflict is the cause of children feeling insecure and unsafe in their own home. Children often have to deal with worries about when their parents will end the "war", whether there will be a divorce, or fear that any fight may come unexpectedly. Create a tense atmosphere for the whole family: Constantly witnessing parental conflict can cause children to become anxious and stressed as well. This can have a big impact on a child's physical as well as mental health. Even many children fall into a state of depression, anxiety and do not develop as normal (for young children).

2. What are the negative effects of parental conflict on children?

A lot of scientific evidence has shown that children with parents who have conflicts or quarrels often have a higher risk of depression or behavioral problems than other children. However, this is not the only effect, when having a toxic parent, children are more likely to develop the following conditions:
Cognitive decline According to a study published in the journal Development Children's development in 2013 showed that stressful conflicts between parents can cause children's cognitive ability to be significantly reduced.
When children often have to witness scenes of parents fighting with each other, children will have more difficulty in controlling their emotions as well as directing their attention. Therefore, children's ability to quickly solve problems on their own is also gradually disappearing.
Making children susceptible to wrongdoing Negative parenting and discord is also related to illegal behavior of children, especially underage age. According to recent research, children who grow up in a family with parents who do not often get along are more likely to develop delinquent behaviors and have difficulty adapting to the learning environment.
Affecting Children's Behavior Children's hostility can be formed through parental conflicts or arguments. Even children tend to treat others the same way they see their parents treat each other.
Substance abuse According to a recent study, the rate of children using stimulants such as alcohol, tobacco or marijuana tends to be higher in families with frequent conflicting parents.
Substantial impact on children's physical health Health care professionals have found a link between declines in children's physical health and conflict between parents. Children who grow up in families that often quarrel, even fight, may be more prone to health problems such as digestive disorders, loss of appetite, bulimia, trouble sleeping, headaches or stomachaches.
Decrease in academic performance Some other scientific studies also found that, when children live in an unhappy family, they tend to do poorly in school or drop out of school early. Even many children are easily depraved and have problems with school violence.
Having negative and pessimistic thoughts about life Parents who are in conflict with each other are considered "leverages", creating a premise for negative thoughts to arise in children's heads. Children may see themselves and the world around them in a negative and pessimistic way.

3. How to resolve conflicts and create a good educational environment for children?

Parental conflict often greatly affects the education, perception and success of children later in life. However, we can completely reduce the risk of conflict to a minimum through some of the following suggestions:
When the other person starts to appear loud or aggressive, be quiet and avoid argue back. Because the anger of the other person will gradually calm down and disappear over time. When an unfortunate conflict occurs, it is best for parents to find a place where there are no children to resolve. Try to find and solve problems, avoid as much as possible digging up reasons just to question each other. Absolutely do not use violence in front of children, even children under 1 year old. Violent behavior in terms of social morality is unacceptable, as it is a manifestation of cognitive and verbal weakness. In the event that parents are in conflict and their children witness it, it is best not to try to hide it because they think that children are ignorant and do not need to know. Instead, you should try to resolve the conflict and let the child know that the parents have come to an agreement on their point of view.

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Reference sources: healthline.com , webmd.com