The dark side of loneliness

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20% (60 million) Americans report that loneliness is a source of their suffering. In fact, our emotional response to rejection comes from the area of ​​our brain (the anterior cushion of the back) that also responds to physical pain.

1. Loneliness and being alone

Loneliness is associated with living alone. However, solitude and being alone only describe a physical condition. When we are alone, we don't always feel lonely. Some people choose to live alone and they feel happier doing so. They don't have to share the feeling of abandonment when they lose a partner through a breakup, divorce, or death.

2. Loneliness in relationships

Although loneliness is greater in people living alone, it can also be felt when in a relationship or a group, due to the quality of the relationship, not the quantity of interactions society determines whether we feel satisfied with these relationships. As working hours and media use have increased, family dinners have decreased. Today, although the number of interactions has increased, but due to the rise of mobile phones, screen time is gradually replacing face time. People spend more time on their digital devices than in face-to-face conversations, contributing to more loneliness.

3. Dependency and lack of intimacy in a relationship

Having no one to listen to, care for, and affirm our existence will leave us feeling isolated or emotionally abandoned. While intimate connections are the remedy, dependent relationships will suffer from a lack of intimacy. Half-brothers have difficulty being intimate due to shame and poor communication skills.
Whether alone or in a relationship, dependents may not be able to identify the source of their unhappiness. As a result of being lonely, they may feel depressed, sad or depressed without knowing that they are alone.

4. Loneliness and fear

Loneliness and the fear of being alone have potentialities that stem from chronic childhood disconnection and loneliness. Although some children are abandoned or abused, most grow up in families where parents do not have the time or emotional resources to respect their children's feelings and needs. Children feel ignored, unloved, embarrassed or alone. Some feel like an outsider, even though their family seems normal.
What are the harmful effects of loneliness? In response to this condition, children do not adapt themselves but begin to rebel, or become addicted, cover up and, ultimately, deny what they feel inside.

5. Loneliness and shame

Increasing feelings of self-isolation and lack of authentic connection with parents can create inner loneliness and feelings of unworthiness. As adults, dependents can get caught up in a self-defeating cycle of loneliness, shame, and depression. Repeated breakups and abandonment of relationships can be the cause of the cycle of abandonment getting worse and worse.
The greater our loneliness, the less likely we will find ways to engage with others, while our anxiety about authentic relationships increases. So what are the harmful effects of loneliness? Studies show that prolonged loneliness produces low self-esteem, introversion, pessimism, disagreement, anger, shyness, anxiety, decreased social skills, and neurological disorders. . We imagine negative judgments from others, known as shame anxiety, which leads to anxious, negative, and self-protective behaviors that cause others to react negatively, which results in negative outcomes. our imagination.
The shame associated with loneliness is not only against ourselves but also carries a stigma, so we don't admit that we are alone. Loneliness is also experienced by other people with gender differences. Lonely men have a more negative view than women.

6. Health risks of loneliness

A strong link between loneliness and depression has so far been documented. Loneliness also poses serious health risks that affect our endocrine, immune and cardiovascular systems, and accelerate death. Lonely people may be at increased risk of cancer, neurodegenerative diseases, and viral infections, according to recent research.
Feeling lonely triggers a stress response when overcoming or coping with stress. Stress hormones and inflammatory symptoms in the body increase, while exercise and restorative sleep decrease. High levels of Norepinephrine in the blood suppress immune functions and increase the production of inflammatory white blood cells. And this compound makes us less sensitive to cortisol protecting us from inflammation.
In commenting on these studies, neuroscientists have shown that loneliness one year affects our genetic inflammatory response the next year of life. You should confirm the negative self-reinforcing emotional spiral: Loneliness predicts biological changes and biological changes can be predicted for changes in loneliness.

7. Coping with loneliness

We may not want to talk to someone, even though it may put us at ease at the time. However, there are now data sources to explain why there are changes in biology, even genetic explanations, that make loneliness so difficult to overcome. For many of us, when we are lonely, we tend to be more isolated. That could lead them to switch to addictive behavior instead of seeking social connection. There is a high correlation between obesity and loneliness.
We really have to fight with our natural instinct to withdraw. You can then try admitting to a friend or neighbor that you're lonely. To promote socializing with others, commit to a class, get-together, or exercise with a friend....
As with all feelings, loneliness gets worse by resistance and self-judgment. We will feel more afraid of experiencing more pain if we allow our hearts to open. When our emotional state changes, then we will feel energized, at peace, tired or satisfied when we are alone.

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Reference source: mentalcentral.com