How to recover from a difficult birth?

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The article was professionally consulted by Specialist Doctor II Lai Thi Nguyet Hang - Department of Obstetrics and Gynecology - Vinmec Ha Long International Hospital.
Instead of having the wonderful birth experience that she imagined, women going through a difficult birth feel scared, helpless, overwhelmed, and alone. Even new moms get upset and feel guilty when things don't go according to plan. Here are some steps to recovering from a difficult birth.

1. Give your body time to recover from a difficult birth

Unfortunately, a difficult birth also often makes physical recovery more difficult. You may have to endure a large or painful incision, accompanied by a feeling of lightheadedness and exhaustion.
The body needs time to heal itself, and the best way to recover from a difficult birth is to rest. But when you already have a newborn by your side, complete rest is nearly impossible. It's important to just focus on yourself and your baby, and put everything else aside for the time being. That means leaving the dishes piled up in the sink, putting off thanking you with countless social media greetings, not receiving too many phone calls and not cleaning the house in the meantime.
Remember, your baby won't care if you haven't showered or cleaned the kitchen. Psychologists advise postpartum mothers to learn to worry less and focus only on important issues to raise a happy child.
Also, get help from anyone who offers to support you. If people want to bring you dinner, don't say no. You can even ask for a mood booster or some healthy snacks.
For your older children, hire a babysitter, ask a friend or family member to take care of them. You can also increase the amount of time your child spends at school, while giving your child the freedom to watch TV at home during these tumultuous times. Temporarily adding a little free play time won't hurt your child, but will give you one less worry to rest assured.

2. Facing true feelings

When the due date is near, almost all pregnant women are anxiously waiting, even excited, to witness the moment when the baby cries out. But before going into labor, some unfortunately have pre-eclampsia and have to be given birth control injections. They had to have an epidural and delivered by cesarean section, instead of a vaginal delivery and without the need for anesthesia as hoped. This made them really deeply grieved.
It can be both physically and emotionally painful when your baby's birth doesn't turn out the way you expected, instead it's a disaster, a nightmare you don't want to remember. Many women who have had a hard time giving birth think that they have missed out on a truly important memory in their lives.
Although many people often comfort: "Fortunately the baby was born safe and healthy.", it cannot ease feelings of sadness or make you put aside your own feelings. To deal with your sadness, you need to face it first. Your feelings are real, acknowledge them instead of trying to deny them.

3. Open to share

Many people find that talking about what happened helps them overcome disappointment. Friends, online groups for women who are also having difficulty giving birth, or your personal doctor,... are those who can empathize, encourage, share experiences and answer questions you still have concerns. wonder, for example, why it's difficult to give birth.
If you enjoy writing, try journaling about how hard childbirth is and the secret to hard postpartum recovery. You can write in a nice notebook, choose an online journaling app, share on social media or simply take notes on your phone.
If you continue reading other moms describing their smooth first baby experience, you'll be more vulnerable, even going into a rage. Finding a therapist can also help you manage your emotions and accept reality.
Some difficult births are not only frustrating, but have long-term emotional and physical consequences. Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) can occur after a difficult birth, with symptoms such as:
Constantly reminiscing about the incident Having nightmares Difficulty sleeping Panic, anxious or uncomfortable breastfeeding Unable to bond with baby Loss of desire to have sex after giving birth . If you find yourself in this situation, talk to a mental health professional for support.

4. Stop blaming yourself

Although today's assisted reproductive techniques are very safe, the truth is that women often feel guilty about any form of intervention during labor, from intravenous (IV) therapy. to vacuum aspiration and cesarean section.
Recommended video:
Close-up of cesarean section in Vinmec: Safety, pain relief, complete happiness!
Some people even feel like they've failed and things go awry. For some women, the feeling of "failure at first" because of not being able to have a normal birth affects later motherhood. In other words, women who have had a caesarean section or given birth are unlikely to have the feeling that they were a failure in the first place, inferior to all other mothers.
The truth is you never fail. Labor and delivery will be different for everyone, with some being simpler or more complicated than usual. Medical intervention is necessary to save the lives of the mother and the child. Pain relievers during labor have been proven safe and are usually used only when needed.
Try to reframe your emotions by saying: You are not a failure, you have succeeded. You overcame a terrible ordeal, and so did the baby. The journey of parenthood is always full of unexpected challenges, still waiting for you ahead.

5. Look at the positives

Even though you didn't give birth as smoothly as you hoped, try to remind yourself of the good things that have happened. You can even make a list of the positives. A smooth normal birth is only part of the fruit, the important thing is that you still have your baby by your side.
It's hard to see the good in a complicated and painful birth, especially if you or your baby is traumatized, or has something worse. If you're having a hard time, talk to your doctor for advice or talk to moms in the group who have also been suffering the consequences of a difficult birth.

6. Ignore the reviews

Your neighbor, mother-in-law, or sister-in-law may say indifferent, negative comments that hurt you, but try not to let them affect your psyche. You should remind yourself of your baby's current health as motivation, and explain to them why the birth is difficult, and the fact that you and your baby are wonderful now.
Also try not to judge yourself. You may be disappointed with yourself because of your difficult childbirth experience, especially if you've been expecting too much. But don't equate guilt. Giving birth is still a sacred thing, no matter how and how it happens. You need to feel that way.

7. Postpartum complications

Sometimes physical or emotional conditions can make postpartum recovery more difficult. Sadness that lasts more than 2 weeks is a warning sign of postpartum depression. Fatigue, trouble sleeping, and lack of energy can be signs of thyroid problems some women experience during the first year postpartum.
If any symptoms are hindering your recovery from a difficult birth, let your doctor know. In case you are struggling with thoughts about hurting yourself or your baby, see a psychologist immediately.
Vinmec International General Hospital has the function of examining, consulting and treating many diseases, including health, nutrition and psychological counseling for pregnant women after giving birth. Therefore, if the mother has problems with mood, psychology, nutrition, care and child rearing, she can come to Vinmec for intensive examination and treatment.

Please dial HOTLINE for more information or register for an appointment HERE. Download MyVinmec app to make appointments faster and to manage your bookings easily.

Reference source: babycenter