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Narcissism is first and foremost an attitude of exaggerating self and often feeling jealous, envious, and resentful towards others. High narcissists often exaggerate their self-importance, think they are the center of the universe, and always look down on everyone. So how to deal with a narcissist in life?
1. What is high narcissism?
Narcissism is a term often encountered in life. In the Sino-Vietnamese sense, self means self, craving means love, so high narcissism means loving yourself and exaggerating yourself and can lead to irritation, anger, and resentment towards others. , thinking that they are thinking wrong about me or doing things that are wrong with me.
In science, there is a syndrome called narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). People with this syndrome often enjoy an idealistic, grandiose image of themselves. But cultivating delusions of self-greatness can lead to extreme attitudes and dysfunctional behavior. Narcissistic personality disorder includes self-centered thinking and behavior patterns, arrogance, lack of empathy for others, and an excessive need to be admired. Some literature often describes people with narcissistic personality disorder as complacent, manipulative, selfish, and demanding. This way of thinking and behaving shows up in all areas of a narcissist's life, from work and friendships to family relationships and love. People with narcissistic personality disorder are extremely resistant to changing their behavior, even when it causes problems for themselves. They have a tendency to blame others. What's more, they are extremely sensitive and react badly to even the slightest criticism and disagreement.
2. Signs of a person with high narcissism
2.1 A great sense of self-importance
This is an important trait to identify a person with high narcissism. Not just arrogance or vanity, the desire for an unrealistic sense of superiority. Narcissists believe they are unique or "special" and that only other special people can understand. They just want to associate and be associated with other high status people, places and things. People with high narcissism believe they are better than everyone else and expect recognition. They often exaggerate or completely lie about their achievements and talents. When they talk about work or relationships, all you hear is how much they contribute, how amazing they are, and how lucky the people in their lives are to have them
2.2 Living in the illusion of your greatness
Narcissists live in an imaginary world fueled by distortion and self-deception. They fantasize about success, power, attractiveness, and ideal love that makes them feel special and in control. These fantasies protect them from feelings of inner emptiness and shame, so facts and opinions that contradict them are ignored or rationalized. Anything that threatens to burst an imaginary bubble is met with defenses and even fury of its own.
Người có tính tự ái cao thường thổi phồng sự quan trọng của bản thân
2.3 Need constant praise and admiration
The narcissist's sense of superiority is like a balloon that gradually loses its air without the applause and recognition to keep it inflated. Praise is sometimes not enough. Narcissists need constant food for their ego, so they surround themselves with people willing to cater to their craving for affirmation. These relationships are very one-sided. If the admirer's attention and praise is interrupted or diminished, the narcissist will see it as a betrayal.
2.4 Illusions about their rights and how people treat them
Because they consider themselves special, they expect people to treat them special. They truly believe that whatever they want, they will get. They also expect the people around them to automatically obey their every wish and whim. That is their only value. If you don't anticipate and accommodate all of their needs, they will think you're useless. And if you have the courage to challenge their will or "selfishly" ask for something in return, be prepared to face aggression, anger.
2.5 Exploiting others without guilt or shame
Narcissists never want to understand other people's feelings or put themselves in other people's shoes. In other words, they lack empathy. They see the people in their lives as objects to serve their needs. Therefore, they do not think that they are taking advantage of others or that their actions can affect others. They only care about their own needs and interests.
2.6 Constantly demeaning, threatening, bullying or belittling others
People with high narcissism feel threatened when they meet someone who is confident and popular. They are also threatened by those who do not submit to them or who challenge them in any way. Their defense mechanism is disdain. The only way to neutralize the threat and lift their sagging egos is to kick those people down. They can do it by denying as if to demonstrate how much the other person means to them. Or they may attack with insults, bullying, and threats.
3. 10 tips for dealing with narcissists
3.1 Get to know them to know who they really are
When they want to, narcissists are good at revealing. You may find yourself drawn to their great ideas and promises. This can also make them particularly popular at work. But before you get carried away, see how they treat people when they're not "on stage". If you accidentally catch them lying, manipulating, or blatantly disrespecting others, there's no reason to believe they won't do the same to you. The first step in dealing with someone with a high narcissism is simply to accept that this is who they are and there's not much you can do to change their nature.
3.2 Stop focusing on them
If you have to deal with someone with high narcissism, don't allow them to intrude on your sense of self or your definition of the world. You are just as important, reminding yourself regularly of your strengths, desires, and goals. Take care of yourself first and remember that fixing them is not your job.
3.3 Speak up for yourself
Some people with a narcissistic personality love to screw up and make trouble for others. Try not to look confused or upset, as that will only prompt them to move on. If that's the person you want to be with in your life then you have a right to speak up and try to do this in a calm, gentle way. You have to let them know how their words and actions impact your life. Be specific and consistent about what is unacceptable and the solution you are looking for. However, you should also be prepared for the fact that they may simply not understand or care about your words.
Một người hay tự ái sẽ không thừa nhận sai lầm hoặc chịu trách nhiệm về việc làm tổn thương người khác
3.4 Set clear boundaries
Narcissists are incapable of true reciprocity in relationships. It's not just that they're unwilling, it's that they really can't. They can't see you, they can't hear you. They don't recognize you as someone who exists outside of their needs. They may think they are entitled to go where they want to go, take your personal things into account, or tell you how you should feel. They can also pressure you into speaking up about private, confidential things in public. As a result, narcissists frequently violate the boundaries of others. That's why you have to be very clear about boundaries with them.
3.5 Be prepared to face their response
If you come into contact with someone with a high narcissistic personality, you will have to be prepared to receive their response. Once you've spoken up and established boundaries with them, they may come back with some ridiculous demands. They may also make you feel guilty or believe you are unreasonable and controlling. They can create a play for sympathy. Therefore, you should be prepared to stand your ground. If you take a step back today, next time they won't take you seriously.
3.6 Remember that you are not at fault
A narcissist will not admit mistakes or take responsibility for hurting others. Instead, they tend to push their negative behaviors onto you or others. You can try to keep the peace by accepting the fault, but you don't have to belittle yourself to save their ego. Don't let their shame and blame game undermine your self-esteem. Refusing to accept responsibility, blame or undue criticism.
3.7 Seeking Support
If you can't avoid contact with narcissists, try to build healthy relationships and seek support from people. Spending too much time in a "toxic" relationship with someone with high narcissism can be emotionally draining. Nurture old friendships and try to find new ones. Get together with loved ones more often. Be active in the community or volunteer for a local charity. Do something that allows you to meet more people and you will feel comfortable.
Những người có tính tự ái cao cảm thấy bị đe dọa khi họ gặp ai là những người tự tin
3.8 Emphasis on immediate action, no promises
People with narcissism are good at making promises. They promise to do what you want and not to do what you hate. They promise to do better, and they may even be honest about these promises. But make no mistake because promises are just a means to an end for a highly narcissistic person. Once they get what they want, their motivation disappears. What you need is to stand your ground, insist that you will only fulfill their request after they have fulfilled your wish and never give in.
3.9 Understand that a high narcissist may need professional help
People who are prone to narcissism often don't see their problems, and they also often have other disorders, such as substance abuse, personality disorders or other mental health problems. You can suggest that they seek the help of a medical professional, but you cannot force them to do so. It is not your responsibility but theirs.
Narcissistic personality disorder can be very difficult to treat. But that doesn't mean there's no hope or change. Mood stabilizers, antidepressants, and antipsychotics are sometimes prescribed in severe cases or if another disorder is present. In most cases, however, psychotherapy is the primary form of treatment. Working with a psychotherapist will help narcissists learn to accept responsibility for their actions, develop a better sense of balance, and build healthier relationships.
3.10 Know when you need help
Frequent exposure to someone with a high narcissism can affect your own physical and mental health. If you have symptoms of anxiety, depression or unexplained physical illness, see your doctor or psychologist for timely support.
Facing a narcissist in your life can leave you frustrated, emotionally upset, and exhausted by their demands. However, by understanding more about narcissistic personality disorder and following the tips above, you can protect yourself from their power games and set healthy boundaries with them.
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References: healthline.com, webmd.com, helpguide.org
