Why does your child throw tantrums?

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1. Why do children have tantrums?

Anger is a way of expressing human emotions, so even children can have tantrums. Anger often comes on suddenly, sometimes increasing to intense intensity, for example when the whole family is having a good meal in a restaurant, one minute the whole family is laughing, but the next minute the child may be whimpering. , groaning and then screaming because he couldn't drink from a straw. Children will not persist in trying again and again, but instead get angry. Therefore, children between the ages of 1 and 3 are especially prone to tantrums than other age groups. Although emotional expressions like this can happen every day, parents should not worry, as long as they gently solve the problem, everything will be fine. Claire B. Kopp, a professor of applied developmental psychology at California's Claremont Graduate University, believes that most children's problems are caused by unequal language skills. “Toddlers are starting to understand more of the words they hear, but their ability to create language is very limited,” she said. When your child can't express how he feels or what he wants, frustration grows.” Therefore, a child's anger is actually just a daily problem, helping children to express their own feelings at that time.

2. How to handle children's tantrums

How to handle children's anger, parents can refer to the following 7 ways:
2.1. Don't lose your temper A tantrum is more than just a facial expression, in addition to kicking, screaming and banging the floor, children can show more aggressive expressions such as throwing objects, hitting and holding their breath. green level. While this can be difficult to deal with, parents need not worry as even holding their breath is a normal behavior of children during a tantrum. At these times, children cannot listen to reason, although there will be some negative reactions, parents should not scold children, that makes children even more confused and angry. Instead, parents simply sit down and stay with the child while the child has a tantrum, until it passes. This is a simple but highly effective way, when a child's emotions are unstable, it is very necessary to have a loved one by his side, the child will no longer be afraid and feel grateful to have a parent around. Sometimes even parents will feel frustrated by their child's unreasonable tantrums, at these times, some experts advise parents to calmly leave the room and return when the emotions have settled. than. Parents themselves need to calm down to help the child calm down. Some experts also recommend that parents hold their baby if this is possible, especially when the baby is not fussy too much, this will give the child some comfort. However, some others think that this tactic will encourage children to continue those negative behaviors, it is better for parents to ignore the child's anger until the child can calm down. Parents may also find that a calm timeout, used appropriately, is also a good solution. Through trial and error, parents can learn which approach is right for their child. However, the way parents choose to handle their child's anger needs to be consistent, to be the key to its best use.
2.2. Remember that parents are adults. No matter how long a child's tantrum lasts, parents should not give in to the child's unreasonable demands, try to negotiate with the screaming child. This will not work, even making both parties more frustrated and out of control. Parents should try not to pay attention to what people around them are thinking, sometimes they will think that it is a bad thing for a young parent to not calm a child, but it will be worse when it sets the stage for a child. subsequent times, making it impossible for children to learn to control their own emotions.

If your child's anger gets to the point of throwing things, screaming incessantly, even hitting pets or hitting people around, carry the child to a safe place, such as the child's bedroom. Then tell the child why he was put there and let him know that he will have to stay here until he calms down and is free of his previous behaviour. If the child gets angry in a public place such as a restaurant, an amusement park, instead of letting the child scream loudly and affect those around, parents should take the child out until the child stops crying and calms down. back and listen to what people have to say.
2.3. Use time-out sparingly Depending on each child, the time when children can better control their emotions, usually starting around 18 months of age. Giving children time to calm down by putting them in a quiet place for a short period of time can be a good lesson for them to calm their anger on their own. Parents should explain what they are doing and let their children know that it is not punishment. If the child refuses to stay in the waiting room, the parents continue to put the child in that position until the child is really calm and continues his work. However, it is necessary to ensure the safety of the child, and should not interact with the child or attract the child's attention during that time.
2.4. Talk After It's Okay When a child's tantrum has subsided, parents should hold the child close and retell what is happening, and discuss the tantrum in simple and redundant terms with the child. Acknowledge your own frustrations with your child. This helps children realize their behavior is not appropriate. Let children see that expressing their feelings through words is best, learn to express what they want with words instead of using aggressive behaviors.
2.5. Let children know that their parents really love them. When the child has calmed down, this is an opportunity for parents to talk to the child about their anger, give them a quick hug and tell them that you love them very much. It's important to offer praise for good behavior, including when children are able to calm down enough to talk to their parents.

2.6. Try to deal with situations where your child's tantrums arise. If parents sense a child's tantrum coming, try distracting the child by changing locations, handing over toys, or distracting the child's vision simply by pointing at the sky. , where the birds are flying. At this age, children are becoming more independent, so instead of arbitrarily choosing for them, parents should give ideas for children to choose. This helps children feel more respected and less controlled.
Parents try to reduce conflicts between themselves and children, when children are closer, they will be more obedient.
2.7. Watch for signs of excessive stress. Although tantrums are common in children's mid-toddler years, parents should also be on the lookout for potential problems. Like if there is a family upheaval, an extremely busy or difficult period, is parental stress affecting the child, etc. All of these can trigger a tantrum.
If your child's tantrums become too frequent or intense (or the child is hurting himself or others), seek help. Your doctor will discuss your child's developmental and behavioral milestones with you during your child's routine physical exam. These discussions are a good opportunity to talk about concerns parents have about their child's behavior, and they help rule out any serious physical or psychological problems. Your doctor can also recommend ways to deal with flare-ups. Also, talk to your doctor if your child shows signs of trouble breathing. There is some evidence that this behavior is related to iron deficiency.
In addition, children need to be supplemented with zinc depending on their age to eat well, reach the correct height and weight and exceed the standard. Zinc plays a role in affecting most biological processes taking place in the body, especially the breakdown of nucleic acids, proteins... Organs in the body when zinc deficiency can lead to a There are a number of diseases such as neurological disorders, irritability, etc. Therefore, parents need to learn about the role of zinc and guide them to appropriate zinc supplements for their children.
In addition to zinc, parents also need to supplement their children with other important vitamins and minerals such as lysine, chromium, B vitamins,... errands.
Please regularly visit Vinmec.com website and update useful information to take care of your baby and family.

References: babycenter.com, raisingchildren.net.au