Being a Father for the First Time: What you need to know

This is an automatically translated article.

The article is professionally consulted by Master, Doctor Vu Quoc Anh - Pediatrician - Department of Pediatrics - Neonatology - Vinmec Danang International General Hospital.

Being a father for the first time is definitely a very new, exciting and surprising experience, but it is also equally stressful and difficult due to the feeling of being surprised and having no experience of being a father for the first time.

1. Being a father for the first time is not easy

Becoming a father for the first time is a truly blissful experience that any man desires. The first feeling must have been pride, that I too could create life. Next is happiness, because the family has a new member - a descendant who calls himself dad.
However, the experience of being a father for the first time can be almost a nightmare for many people. Many "premature fathers" feel extremely surprised and stressed when they encounter the difficulties of parenthood, are not used to taking care of their children and developing the first relationship with their own children. Therefore, fathers need to be fully prepared with the necessary knowledge and experience to be ready to face all difficulties and challenges in the coming process of raising children or simply becoming a standard father. of children.

2. Understand the difficulties of being a father for the first time

Taking care of a newborn is not an easy thing. Being a father for the first time can face the following difficulties:
Limited number of days of maternity leave Unlike in women, the maternity leave for the man in the family is quite limited. A busy schedule and having to be at work often will make it impossible for a father to spend much time with his baby after birth.
Responsibility for fatherhood Newborns require constant care from their parents and that is considered the responsibility of a parent. In addition to feeding, changing diapers, and comforting when babies cry, parents also have to perform other tasks, such as housework, shopping, and some other personal activities. This can put a lot of pressure on first-time fathers, who are used to an independent lifestyle and find it difficult to take on more responsibility for a new family member.
Insomnia Only first-time dads understand the preciousness of a good night's sleep while taking care of a newborn. In fact, the constant crying baby makes it difficult for parents to get a full night's sleep. Long-term lack of sleep can affect health.
Financial pressure The cost of childbirth, primary health care, vaccinations, diapers, newborn clothes and other items for the baby make the family budget quickly decrease. The financial pressure will be exacerbated if parents have to move out, hire a babysitter or one of the spouses must take unpaid leave or switch jobs to spend time with the baby.
Reduce time with your wife When you have children, both husband and wife will be extremely busy, which means that they will not have as much time together during the day as they did before the birth. On the other hand, postpartum women often give a lot of love and attention to their children. Therefore, first-time fathers will sometimes feel "abandoned" by their wives.
Decreased ability to have sex After giving birth, a woman's body becomes exhausted, accompanied by mental stress, which affects the couple's sex life. Postpartum women need time to fully recover before they can be close to their husbands.
Depression Many women experience postpartum depression, which affects their mental health, and even shows behaviors that are dangerous for their children. This phenomenon also occurs with a small number of men who are fathers for the first time.

3. Learn the experience of being a father for the first time before the baby is born

During the time when his wife is pregnant, future fathers need to actively learn and cultivate the experience of being a first time father. Take advantage of the following things before the baby is born:
Connect with the baby During the pregnancy of a pregnant wife, fathers often cannot fully feel the feeling of becoming a father of a baby. as for the mother. The reason is that the father does not have much connection with the baby, while with the mother can clearly feel because the baby is lying right in his belly. To establish a bond with your baby, put your hand on your wife's belly often to feel the baby's movements and kicks, join her in prenatal visits and listen to the advice of the doctor. doctor. Alternatively, you can talk, read or sing to your baby right in front of you to help your baby recognize your voice after birth.
Attend antenatal courses Prenatal classes will help pregnant women best prepare for pregnancy and labor. On the other hand, the future father also learned a lot of experience as a first-time father, especially how to take care of a newborn to support his wife when needed.
Prepare a financial plan If in financial difficulty, the husband can ask for support and advice from friends, relatives or a financial professional to help the family handle development expenses born while raising children later.
Learn from other dads During pregnancy, a woman can get a lot of helpful advice from doctors, relatives, friends and other mothers who have been or are pregnant. Likewise, dad should also have a network of relationships needed during this time. Look for relatives, friends, especially your own father, who have been through the first stage of being a father so that they can share the necessary advice and experience before the baby is born.
Talk to your wife Encouraging your pregnant wife to share the difficulties of pregnancy is also a way to feel the role of a father in your child's later life.
Think about the type of father you want to be Your father is the ideal model of a perfect father. Learn from the experience of being a father for the first time from the person who was born and raised you.

4. Advice for first-time fathers

After the baby is born, the "father-to-be" officially becomes a father. The following tips will help first-time fathers reduce some of the stress and confusion:
“Resuscitate” with mother and child at the hospital If the hospital allows, arrange time and work to went to the recovery room with his wife and newborn until the day he brought the baby home.
Take turns taking care of the baby Fathers should support their wives by doing simple things that can be done, such as taking turns feeding the baby, changing diapers, looking after the baby.
Spend time playing with your baby Many postpartum fathers are unable to spend time with their babies and play with them, resulting in an incomplete child's experience. In fact, women raising children often tend to take care of their children with gentle and simple actions. Meanwhile, men raising children often let the baby participate in activities related to physical and intellectual. Both ways of raising children are important and necessary, helping the baby to fully feel the love and care of parents for the baby. Your baby's smile is a sign of this.
Show intimacy with your wife If you find it difficult to have sex, husband and wife can still maintain intimacy through hugging, kissing or simply massaging each other's shoulders. These actions can help you and your partner reconnect emotionally during the stressful months of pregnancy and better support each other in raising your baby.
Get help if you need it. Being a father is a difficult experience for the first time, but you are not alone. If you can't handle parenting or emotional issues, or if you notice symptoms of depression, seek help from your doctor, who is a professional.
After having a baby, the life of both husband and wife can completely change. By preparing early and planning to adapt to change, first-time fathers can reduce stress and become the perfect father to their children.
As a key area of ​​Vinmec Health system, Pediatrics Department always brings satisfaction to customers and is highly appreciated by industry experts with:
Gathering a team of top doctors and nurses in Pediatrics : consists of leading experts with high professional qualifications (professors, associate professors, doctorates, masters), experienced, worked at major hospitals such as Bach Mai, 108.. Doctors All doctors are well-trained, professional, conscientious, knowledgeable about young psychology. In addition to domestic pediatric specialists, the Department of Pediatrics also has the participation of foreign experts (Japan, Singapore, Australia, USA) who are always pioneers in applying the latest and most effective treatment regimens. . Comprehensive services: In the field of Pediatrics, Vinmec provides a series of continuous medical examination and treatment services from Newborn to Pediatric and Vaccine,... according to international standards to help parents take care of their baby's health from birth to childhood. from birth to adulthood Specialized techniques: Vinmec has successfully deployed many specialized techniques to make the treatment of difficult diseases in Pediatrics more effective: neurosurgery - skull surgery, stem cell transplantation. blood in cancer treatment. Professional care: In addition to understanding children's psychology, Vinmec also pays special attention to the children's play space, helping them to have fun and get used to the hospital's environment, cooperate in treatment, improve the efficiency of medical treatment. Master. Dr. Vu Quoc Anh has nearly 10 years of experience as a resident doctor and treating doctor at Hue Central Hospital and Danang Children's Hospital. Currently, he is a Pediatrician - Vinmec Danang International General Hospital.

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Article referenced source: Mayoclinic.org