What to do if your child gets angry?

This is an automatically translated article.

If adults don't know how to control their emotions, children will learn from that and get angry when they don't get what they want. Children are often angry, or eat tantrums ... are completely not good for the development of children.

1. What is the influence of children who are often angry?

Children's tantrums usually appear towards the end of the first year of life, are most common in children 2 to 4 years old, and usually stop after the child is 5 years old. If a child's tantrums usually occur after the age of 5, they can persist throughout childhood.
Causes of children's tantrums and tantrums can be due to frustration, fatigue, and hunger. Children may also have tantrums to seek attention, to get something, or to avoid having to do something.
A child's tantrum may include:
Yelling; Children often cry; Cry; Beat; Roll on the floor; Jump stomping; Throw everything away; The child may become red in the face and hit or kick someone. Napoleon once said that “those who can control their emotions are better than generals who win. On the contrary, people who can't control their emotions are really lousy, they do things without thinking about the consequences, they rely on their emotions to control all their behavior, they can harm themselves. and hurt others”.
Managing emotions is an important part of a child's all-round development, it will even affect the child's ability to have good interpersonal relationships and a healthy mind. strong in the future or not. A child who knows how to control his emotions will be able to accept and manage his joys and sorrows, worries... and not harm anyone.

The latest research on child education shows that children's emotional experiences before the age of 6 have a lasting impact on a person's life. If the child cannot focus attention, the child's personality will be pessimism, loneliness, anxiety, dissatisfaction with himself and the child is prone to tantrums ..., these greatly affect the personality development children's future. What's more, if a child's negative emotions are frequent and persistent, they will have a lasting effect on a child's character, health, and personal relationships.
Therefore, you need to pay attention to children's emotions from an early age and have help in adjusting and guiding children to manage their emotions.

2. What to do when children are irritable?

"Like parent, like child" means that whatever type of parent is, the child will be a mirror of that, managing emotions is no exception.
Parents' role in children's emotions can be divided into two categories:
One is emotional guidance; The second is to remove emotions. Emotional guidance will regulate children's emotions, treat children's negative emotions as an opportunity for them to learn about themselves, and guide them to deal with their own emotions in the most effective way. Meanwhile, parents who remove emotions will often choose to end the child's emotions, change the child.
Emotional mentors are often excellent emotional managers, while the emotional rejecters often have missteps in managing their own emotions.
Before teaching children how to manage their emotions, you should seriously think about yourself, see if you have managed your own emotions well or not? In the process of teaching young children, are you angry, depressed, sad? When you lose control, do you find a suitable solution?
To learn how to control your child's tantrums and tantrums, you need to take an emotional control class yourself. Because, when the child is irritable, it is already a challenge for you to control your emotions. In other words, educating children is also an opportunity for you to practice your own emotional management skills.
While it is often effective to provide a safe environment for children to self-regulate, many children have difficulty suppressing tantrums.
In most cases, addressing the source of a child's tantrum only prolongs it. Therefore, a more appropriate way to redirect a child's emotions is by providing an alternative activity that can direct the child to focus on that.

2.1. How to deal with angry children When children are angry, many people will use a deterrent: "Try it again, I will kick you out the door", this is like a strict punishment, can menace.
In fact, this not only undermines the child's self-esteem and sense of security, but even leads to sabotage and passive resistance as revenge.
When children often cry, get angry, or eat tantrums, you should first have a sympathetic attitude, use your ability to listen to accept your baby's feelings. For example, when the family has a guest to play, the child is snatched by another friend, the child will be angry and want to hit the other "child guest". At this point, what you should say is not that it is not wise to blame your child for not sharing toys or scold him, but you should accept his negative feelings. You then share with your child how to handle the situation appropriately.
You can say to your child: "If something that you like is taken away, I will be very angry. But if your child lends it to you to play for a bit, you will return it." You can also negotiate with your child like: "Why don't you play with your toys, playing together will be fun...".
2.2. How to deal with fear Children can have different fears such as fear of dogs, fear of the dark, even fear of strangers. What should you do when your baby is scared?
First, you need to experience these same emotions with your child and then confide in them, for example: "I know you are afraid, I have fears too. When we are afraid, When you're scared, you'll want to hide in your parents' arms or find a safe place to hide, but there are times when fear is unnecessary. kindergarten, but when you go to school, you find kindergarten very fun, right...?".
2.3. How to Deal with Jealousy Every child feels jealous, especially when a parent cares about other children. So if your child sees you holding another child, he or she will get very worried and protect his "exclusive love" by crying, even hitting the other child.
Instead of scolding your child, you should take this opportunity to say to your child: "I know that you love me, but you see, every day you get a hug from me, but the baby only gets it once in a while. Mommy hugs me".

2.4. When children feel guilty When children accidentally break the aquarium, causing the fish to die, this makes children feel guilty and guilty. At this point, what should you say to the child?
The most important thing that you should do right now is to recognize the child's feelings of "feeling guilty", then share with the child: "I know you feel guilty right now. I've been through such things, I feel the same way as you. But that torment can't change what happened. It's best to clean up the broken fish tank, dead fish and why baby. don't bury the fish? Then we'll buy new fish and you'll take good care of them, okay?"
Emotions don't matter right or wrong, what matters is how the expression is socially acceptable. Therefore, you should learn to accept children's diverse emotional expressions, understanding that emotions can be transformed. A child's negative emotions can turn into positive ones. Only by facing it all can the development of positive emotions increase. Only children who can control their emotions become successful children.

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