What is the right age to date: A guide for parents

This is an automatically translated article.

Teen dating can confuse parents with sex education and often ask: What is the right age to date? What age is suitable for love? According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, children start dating at an average age of 12 and a half years for girls and 13 and a half years for boys. However, every teen's age to start dating is different, and your teen may be ready earlier or later than their peers. Let's find out more about the article below.

1. At what age should you date? What age is suitable for love?

Parenting means committing to guiding your child through the many complex and difficult stages of life. You go from changing their diapers, teaching them how to tie their shoelaces, to finally helping them understand dating and love.
The previous years and teen years have not been easy for you or your child. As the hormones fly away, you can expect a fair resolution of your conflict. So when it comes to dating, how can you prepare yourself to deal with potential questions and problems? And what age is suitable?
The American Academy of Pediatrics notes that on average, girls start dating as early as 12 and a half years old and boys a year older. But it may not be the kind of "dating" you're envisioning.
You might be surprised to hear dating styles like “boyfriend”, “girlfriend” and “together”. At this age, perhaps your son or daughter is sitting next to that special someone at lunch or hanging out at recess.
Groups play an important role in relaying information about who likes whom. Even if your son is infatuated with a certain girl, most 12-year-olds are not quite ready for the direct interaction of a real relationship.
For 8th graders, dating means spending a lot of time texting or talking on the phone, sharing pictures on social media, and hanging out in groups. Some children may also progress to the ability to hold hands. In high school, strong romantic attachments can form and things can get serious, fast.
Talk to your child or educate your child about sex?
When your child mentions dating, girlfriend or boyfriend, try to figure out what those concepts mean to them. Note how your teen reacts when you discuss dating.
It can be a bit annoying or embarrassing, but if your child can't even discuss it with you without being defensive or upset, take it as a sign that they may not be ready.

Cha mẹ nên giáo dục giới tính cho con từ sớm
Cha mẹ nên giáo dục giới tính cho con từ sớm
Other things to consider include the following:
Are your kids really interested in someone in particular, or are they just trying to keep up with what their friends are up to? Do you think your son or daughter will tell you if something is wrong? Overall, is your child confident and happy? Is your child's physical development in line with their emotional development? Know that for many teens, dating is like socializing in a group. While there may be a specific interest between two people, dating isn't like a group hanging out or meeting at the movies or the mall.
This type of group content is a safe and healthy way to interact with members of the opposite sex without the difficulty that one-on-one scenarios can bring. Think of it as a date with the workout wheel.
For many kids, 16 may seem like the right age, but it can be perfectly fine for a mature 15-year-old to date, or to keep your immature 16-year-old waiting for a date. or two years.
It's important for parents to remember that 8-12 years old is a transition period. Children not only mature physically, emotionally and socially, but also begin to develop a sense of self. For that reason, when kids this age start to explore changes, it's only natural that they'll be interested in dating as well. This is a natural reaction of children at this age so try not to get overwhelmed. In most cases, a child's dating is not what the parents think it is. Also, love at this age doesn't last long because children will discover what they like and don't like. Therefore, this age is not the right age to have a lasting love. The recent trend in early teenage dating (10-19) is to socialize as part of a group. These groups hang out together, go to the movies, go to the mall, park, or similar places together. Group dating allows kids to interact with friends of both sexes in a safer way than one-on-one dating. Parents need to distinguish group dating from one-on-one or three-way dating. Although the members of a group may have a certain romantic relationship, most of which are short-lived, group members are also more likely to share information with members of the same sex in the group than with other members. different group. Parents need to know the difference between a one-on-one date. According to the American Academy of Pediatrics recommendations, the youngest age for a one-on-one date is 16 years old. However, as an adult, parents will have to consider the child's maturity level. Some children mature early and have the behavioral capacity to manage a date earlier, while others need more time. In addition, one thing that parents also need to consider is the standards of the community where they live (eg hamlet, village, commune...).

Để con cái ở tuổi nào nên hẹn hò là thắc mắc của nhiều bậc cha mẹ
Để con cái ở tuổi nào nên hẹn hò là thắc mắc của nhiều bậc cha mẹ

2. A Parent's Guide to Sex Education

If a parent decides to allow a child of this age to date with a group of friends, you need to be clear with the child about your expectations. Parents educate about sex through conversations with children about what behavior is appropriate when children are out and about where and when children are allowed to go or when they must be present. at home.
There are cases where the parent group even requires one or more parents to accompany them when the group of children goes out together. In addition, parents also consider meeting with parents of children in the same groups in which the child spends a lot of time. Especially in the case of a group of young people dating at someone's home instead of in public places. Take time to talk with your child about what a healthy friendship is.
Educate children by asking open-ended questions such as: what do you like about that friend or what do you and your child have in common...
One point that parents need to keep in mind is, Children's romantic feelings are often expressed through text messages, at this age children can text with friends more than talk face to face. Children often use social media to announce or express their relationship status. Therefore, parents need to make sure that their children in this age group know what is safe and appropriate to communicate via texting and posting on social networks, especially when sharing personal information. Rules with smartphones are also a topic that should be regularly discussed when it comes to friendship relationships. It is important for parents to remember to regularly talk and communicate with their children about their relationships while providing guidance or education throughout their child's development.
Love is an irresistible attraction for teenagers. One of the top questions parents ask is "How do I know when my child is in love" and children are also curious about their parents' love and marriage. When talking and communicating with your child, incorporate topics related to love and building a good parent-child relationship. Be open-minded when talking to your child, avoiding judgment about your child's hobbies and interests so that there is more chance that your child will talk to you about their feelings or ask for your advice.
During talks on the topic of love, pay attention to sex education for children. Tell children about unacceptable behaviors in friends of the opposite sex, situations that are considered dangerous and abusive. Children need to know what to do in case of danger or failure to adapt to the behavior of their peers. Through conversation and guidance, build confidence and offer dating tips and backup plans if the date doesn't go as planned.
For children of this age, budding relationships are very important to them so parents should not belittle or mock this. Here's what parents need to avoid when their kids start dating:
Eliminate unimportant dating relationships Allow kids to have unsupervised alone time See their relationship isn't serious relationships Broaden the rules for safe dating Don't talk to kids about the big issues of sex education (sexual texting, approval or even sex) Quit by describing to kids what a healthy relationship is. Although relationships at this age don't last, some teenage romances do have lasting power. One study found that 20% of 12-14 year olds were in a relationship that lasted at least 11 months. Therefore, at some point parents must know how to help children navigate the breakup, especially for the first experience - first love.

Nhiều khi việc hẹn hò giống như việc giao lưu trong một nhóm
Nhiều khi việc hẹn hò giống như việc giao lưu trong một nhóm

It is important now that parents listen more than they speak and that parents evaluate what the child is feeling. Use this time to educate your kids about how to manage these feelings of discomfort in a healthy and responsible way, especially when it comes to social media. Sharing a child's feelings of anger, hurt, frustration, or sadness on social media can result in more harm than good if others use these feelings to bully or bully them. mock them.
Finally, parents should avoid saying negative things about their child's ex-boyfriend or girlfriend. Some kids will move on easily after a breakup, but some will need more time to process what happened and let a broken heart heal. Be patient, caring, supportive and positive and you will get through this difficult time.

Please dial HOTLINE for more information or register for an appointment HERE. Download MyVinmec app to make appointments faster and to manage your bookings easily.

References: verywellfamily.com, healthychildren.org, healthline.com
Share
Patients Stories