What do you hear from children?

This is an automatically translated article.

Article written by: Master of Psychology Dang Thi Thanh Tung.
Many times, parents forget that they need to be their child's friend, not the only role: Parents. It means having the right, to ask and to force the child to follow orders. Or see that your child has difficulties but have not listened to what their difficulty is, where it comes from. Or because of work and impatience, we finish listening to the hum and don't care if the child still wonders or worries, needs our help or not,... Only when we are friends with the child Children who are listened to will learn to listen to others by themselves. And only when we listen to each other can we continue to understand and hold hands to overcome all difficulties.

You Ph. A. District 11 is studying in grade 5 and was taken to Vinmec Times City International General Hospital by her family. Before that, Q was examined at many places and was concluded: Anxiety and taking prescription drugs.

1. The child's erratic and anxious expressions

According to family: The child is in 5th grade but always wants to be like a baby to be loved by his parents. Although his parents give him all their love, Q has always felt jealous of his younger sister in grade 1 and thinks that her parents love her more. When at home, Q often teases and hits her, always likes to be a baby to be pampered by her parents. Children always say and do behaviors to attract attention such as: Holding urine and saying: "Let me get sick and die early" (so that parents can be more concerned), fasting, fasting, craving food but fasting for fear of getting fat. you hate going to school because you hate, fight,...
When going to school, the teacher reflected and repeatedly invited parents to pick up the child because the child showed the following expression: Worry, go studying or being afraid, or sometimes going to school but not following the rules in class.
Recently, children have clearly shown difficulties: Running away from school time running out into the hallway to play alone, shouting or teasing you while studying, refusing to do homework, playing, or hiding under the teacher's desk or your locker, lying on the floor.
At home, parents feel tired and find it difficult to talk about school: Children are afraid and do not want to go to school. In the past two weeks, children's interest in learning has decreased during school breaks.

2. How Doctor Vinmec "talks" to children

When I first met the child, I did not believe this was a child with the difficult characteristics described above. Because the boy is extremely intelligent, loves to play chess, and chess is also the only strong point that he teaches me when I meet him.
The first three sessions, the child did not cooperate. When meeting me, the child stopped standing and lying on the floor or sitting/ lying/ crawling on a chair, not talking, just nodding to show agreement/disagree, he was always in a state of holding his urine, or mumbling a word. words to reassure or reiterate the question... do nothing but find toys and stand still.
Only when playing chess can children sit still in the chair. And so we played game after game/ 1 hour therapy. And the boy is really good, not a game he let me win. He also volunteered to be my chess teacher. When the game started, we talked about: Hobbies, desires, worries, and more.
Just like that, we worked together 3 times, 5 sessions, then 10 sessions. When I had 10 sessions, consulted and discussed with my family, I also felt guilty because really 10 lessons we were only playing together, I encouraged the children...and I had not taught them any skills. what ability.
But through those 10 sessions, I understood: Why is the boy worried, why is he low in self-esteem, why is he jealous of his brother, ... and why he doesn't want to go to school, wants to die but doesn't want to. lived when he was only in 5th grade.
The family agreed to take the child to Vinmec more because there was no way to talk, advise the boy to go to school and worry less.
Then, me and the child have become friends, we continue to have time to interact and share more. Children began to trust me and voluntarily come to therapy by appointment without being reluctant to follow their parents' request.
Through the working sessions, the children with me named their own fears, named negative emotions, identified their own strengths and weaknesses, and expressed their need for help. .
Children begin to show other abilities and strengths: English ability, Math, mental math, ability to concentrate and do exercises super fast. The boy made one surprise after another.
We've been working together for a full year now. Instead of ending therapy, children still come to me every week to share and learn new skills. The only limitation the child still has at this time is the ability to move: The child has a slightly fat body and gross motor, less flexible. This is also the point leading to children's low self-confidence in front of friends, so they are also determined to change.
The child is now a 6th grade boy, elected as class president, has many friends, he goes to school regularly and his parents no longer have to come pick him up because he can't study. The child also no longer shows signs of school anxiety and does not take any medication for emotional support anymore. The last good news that I received: The child has joined the school's English team and is trying to win the city's top prize.
The results that I and the child have had over the past year stem from listening: Listen to the child, observe, create conditions for the child to express feelings, thoughts, or simply let the child have the opportunity to express their interests and desires. From there, we trust each other, we become friends and go through experiences, share to draw lessons and make corrections.
Many times, parents forget that they need to be the child's friend, not the only role: Parents. Parents must have the right, must ask and force their children to carry out orders, parents see their children have difficulties but have not really taken the time to sit back and listen to what their children's difficulties are and where they come from. . Many times, because of work and impatience, we listen to the hum and we don't really care if the child is still worried or worried, needs our help or not,...
Only When we are friends with children, children who are listened to will learn to listen to others on their own. And only when we listen to each other can we continue to understand and hold hands to overcome all difficulties.
Be friends with your children, not playing the role of a judge or any other role when you want to accompany and understand with your children. Don't let the opportunity to listen go by while it still can. My happiness is to be heard every day, to share and to be loved.

Clinic of Regenerative Medicine and Cell Therapy - Vinmec Times City International General Hospital is having the function of examining, consulting and outpatient treatment of psychological and mental health problems; combines psychology, education, and multi-disciplinary therapy for children with speech delay, autism, developmental delay, hyperactivity, depression, anxiety...
With modern equipment and a team of doctors and medical professionals Well-trained doctors, Regenerative Medicine and Cell Therapy Clinics examine, evaluate and treat with multiple choice tests, multidisciplinary therapies such as Psychotherapy combined with art (Psychology - Education) special education - language - meditation yoga - art and music)...
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