How do you tell your child about cancer?

This is an automatically translated article.

The article was professionally consulted by Specialist Doctor I Le Thi Nha Hien - Internal Oncologist - Department of Medical Examination & Internal Medicine - Vinmec Nha Trang International General Hospital.
Many parents think that talking about cancer with their children is difficult. Because they are afraid that their children will change their minds and fall into negative situations when they know their parents or themselves have cancer.

1. How should children be told when they have cancer?

Most parents are very scared and worried when they hear that their child has cancer. At this point, parents must not only deal with their own fear and confusion, but also face the task of helping their child understand cancer.
Many parents think they can protect their child by not telling them about cancer. However, in order for your child to cooperate with tests and treatments, you should talk to your child about the type of cancer he or she has.
Because, some kids don't understand cancer and they think this is a punishment for doing something wrong or they did something bad that got them sick. What's more, children can show signs of anxiety, stress, and fear when they don't know what illness they have.
Parents should talk to their children more often, encouraging them to ask questions about their medical condition. In addition, you should share your feelings with your child, and at the same time encourage them to speak out their thoughts and feelings. However, explaining cancer to children depends on the age:
Under 3 years old: Not understanding about cancer Fear of being separated from parents Fear and not understanding medical tests In this case You should always stand by your child's side while in the hospital. Talk to your child in simple, clear words and show reassurance to them. In addition, you should let your child know how many more days he will be in the hospital and when he can return home after treatment ends.
From 3 to 7 years of age Explain cancer in simple, easy-to-understand terms. Find a specific cause of cancer so that your child understands Assure your child that you will always be there for them Be honest with your child about tests and treatments Explain to your child that he or she is receiving treatment to stay healthy get better or reduce pain 7 to 12 years old Explains cancer in more detail Children who believe cancer is not something they did wrong but got sick Children can understand that they need medication or other treatments Other better treatments Talk to your child about what's on his mind, instead of leaving him to worry alone. Teens May have a better understanding of cancer and are interested in learning more about their diagnosis Think of the symptoms of cancer and how it affects everyday life such as school, sports and friends Wanting to make treatment decisions Concerned about one's appearance and appearance in front of people (eg, worried about hair loss and changes in appearance)

2. How should you tell your child when you have cancer?

Here are a few tips when talking to your kids about cancer:
Gently share the most truths about your cancer diagnosis and treatment plan. Honesty is the key to maintaining trust. Choose a quiet place to talk, explain your condition and answer their questions Share with your child about your feelings and listen to their thoughts Try to keep routines Every day and mentally prepare your child for changes in family life You should ask for help from your child, but avoid giving them too much responsibility as this can increase stress. Monitor your child's behavior and mood changes at school and at home to provide timely solutions if your child is feeling depressed or hopeless. Keep a happy, open attitude and show your love for your child

3. Ask for help from your child when you have cancer

When a parent is diagnosed with cancer, many children fall into a state of helplessness with the situation. However, to bond and ease the gloomy atmosphere and tensions in the family, sometimes you should ask for help from your children. If children can help their parents in some way, they will feel a part of the responsibility themselves and feel more comfortable shouldering the chores for their parents. Here are some tips for when you want to ask your child for help:
Explain that you need extra help and that everyone in the family needs to be involved Make a concrete plan for your child to do the same. Ask your children to help each other with housework. Always encouraging and accepting your children's efforts will help keep them motivated. In addition, it is possible that if a child has cancer, parents are the biggest source of encouragement for their children, helping them to overcome fear when facing the disease. Psychological treatment is also an important factor in supporting cancer treatment.

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Article referenced source: Cancer.net