Building resilience for your child

This is an automatically translated article.

The article is professionally consulted by Master, Doctor Nguyen Minh Tuan - Pediatrician - Department of Pediatrics - Neonatology - Vinmec Danang International General Hospital.
Life is full of unpredictable challenges, so you should help prepare your children to face whatever lies ahead by building their resilience.

1. What is resilience?

Most parents still think it's their job to protect their kids from difficult times or setbacks. However, these methods are not always helpful in preparing your child for the future. Struggles can help your children enjoy life's best moments, give them the satisfaction of overcoming obstacles, and help us find ways to nurture resilience. child's return.
Resilience is the quality of flexibility, adjustability and flexibility without breaking. A resilient person often responds successfully to severe or chronic difficulties and triumphs in the face of adversity. Resilience is important because no one can escape life's often unpredictable challenges.

2. Is your child resilient or resilient?

You can gauge your child's resilience or resilience by observing her ability to cope with stress. Notice what a preschooler's reaction to a somewhat scary scene in a book or show is? How does your 9-year-old boy react when given a big job? Each child's individual biological response to stress plays a role in a child's level of recovery.
Some children are more sensitive to stress, while others are more receptive. Your child's ability to adapt and grow in the face of challenges is also shaped by experiences and relationships. It can be visualized like a seesaw, with stressful experiences such as the loss of a parent or chronic illness that can weigh on and push to one side. But, on the other side are positive relationships and supportive resources. These things make the child able to withstand stress, correcting the balance of the seesaw. Stress doesn't go away, but kids need tools to achieve a positive balance.

3. How can you build your child's resilience?

Regardless of your child's level of recovery, there are many things you can do to help your child practice and strengthen this trait.
3.1 Encourage supportive relationships Children need the support of a stable, committed adult whether it is a parent, caregiver or teacher to help them feel that they have What is needed to overcome adversity? This connection gives young children a buffer from the stresses of the outside world, creating a protected space for them to grow up in.
This type of relationship can also act as a support while children build skills such as concentration skills, problem-solving skills, and self-control skills to help them manage stress. As a child becomes more skilled and confident, stepping stones can be gradually removed until the child is able to stand alone.
Children will benefit from having many supportive relationships. Supportive relationships can come from grandparents, aunts, coaches, piano teachers, or family friends. You should consider how you can strengthen these relationships or create other relationships that can help your child.
3.2 Promote core beliefs To help your child develop resilience, help them learn it by letting them learn things like:
Decisions have consequences: When appropriate, Let your child experience the results of their decisions. If parents make all the decisions, children can understand that it doesn't matter what they do. They may feel that their parents are questioning their ability to make decisions or make decisions on their own. If your son says he has learned enough for a test, let the test results show your child is correct. When your children have more options, they become wiser, more confident, and more resilient to setbacks. Failure is a part of life: If your child sees failure as an opportunity to learn rather than give up, he or she is more likely to try new things and become better. Teach children that losing a game or soccer game is not something to be taken seriously and should encourage them to try again. Skills are something that can be learned. Praise your child for his hard work. If your child starts an activity and wants to stop because he doesn't feel good enough, encourage him to continue for a certain amount of time. This will reinforce the idea of ​​not giving up on something too quickly because it's hard. Everyone has their own strengths: Help your child discover and develop his or her unique strengths and look for opportunities to use them. Using a skill to help others can be a major confidence booster for kids. 3.3 Build a growth mindset Life is rarely a series of successes and think about your child's first steps. Many of his or her initial attempts at walking probably ended in failure. But your child can keep trying and learning to walk and run.
As he gets older, he'll have to make bigger efforts and it's your responsibility to help him get up and try again. Make sure your child knows that learning is important, immediate success isn't always the goal, and failure isn't something to be feared or avoided. Instead, help your child see failure as a natural byproduct of learning and trying new things.
It can be helpful to talk about times you failed and what you learned. Better yet, let your child see you try new things. Try a long run together or take a pottery class. Both you and your child will learn from these collaborations.

3.4 Creating Opportunities for Your Child to Learn Allowing your child to learn from failure requires you to step back and let your child experience it for himself. However, if your child is facing a situation where his or her safety is threatened, your intervention is appropriate and necessary. But if your child doesn't finish their homework on time, let them face the consequences. This will help children know the rules apply to them and better keep track of assignments and deadlines.
Also, make room for your child to act on his or her own. If your child has a friendship conflict, avoid intervening and listen instead. Discuss what he or she thinks is the best way forward. If asked, offer advice to the child.
3.5 Discover the power of the word “yet.” Failure can also become a source of motivation for your child to work a little harder. Explore with your child how a different choice might lead to a different outcome. If your child feels defeated and says, "I can't," ask him to add the word "yet" to the end of the sentence. With increased effort, a new strategy or both children can try again and possibly with better results.
Also, think about your expectations. Consider your child's abilities and set the bar high enough for them to stretch and grow. Or you can let your kids make their own goals. If goals are always set within reach, children will never fail or have a chance to understand their true abilities.
Helping your child build resilience is not an easy process. But doing this will allow your child to face challenges and develop strategies to deal with them so that your child becomes an independent adult.

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Reference source: mayoclinic.org